Why do I work with people pleasers?

​

Because I've been there...

 

... as the shy and sensitive child that felt rejection so keenly and never dared to engage with others, who in turn perceived me as cold and arrogant. When in truth I saw myself as so much less than everyone else. Until I became enough.

 

... as the gifted student for whom most subjects came easy and the others I just wasn't wired for. Until it occurred to me that I could have been good at chemistry if I'd ever made an effort instead of blaming my lack of talent.

 

... as the young lecturer who worked so hard but lived in fear of being found out at every turn. Hell, I almost did not accept a scholarship offer in time because I thought there'd been a clerical error and they'd notified the wrong person. 

 

... as an inexperienced team lead who absorbed every problem under the sun to keep the team going. Until the day when my body broke down and I was forced to completely rethink what it means to me to help people.

​

What makes me qualified to do this?

​

You are probably asking yourself whether I am trustworthy. Trust, of course, is built over time. But let me assure you that I am not part of a cult and that I am definitely not interested in taking over your identity or isolating you from your loved ones. If you tell me about your partner and I think that they’re a loser and you deserve better, I will keep that to myself. Jokes aside, I have trained with Animas and you can find out more about the course I took here. It’s accredited by the International Coaching Federation. Prior to that, I was using coaching skills and techniques as a teacher, a lecturer, and a team lead in a tech startup. 

 

As part of my certification programme, I have regular mentoring sessions and participate in Continuous Professional Development activities, which you can check out on my LinkedIn profile. If we are both comfortable with it, I might ask you whether I can record a session from time to time so that I can watch it back and learn from it. Once I’ve done that, I will delete the recording. I can only take listening to my own voice for so long and storage space has a habit of filling up, no matter how many Petabytes you’ve got (yeah, I can’t get my head around that size either, but look it up, it’s a thing). The purpose of all this is adhesion to the standards of recognised professional bodies in the industry, like the International Coaching Federation. So this will serve you and me both. Plus the coaching profession, supervisors, course providers and whoever else is getting a share of my hard-earned cash.

​

How does this coaching thing work?

​

You think out loud. I listen. Occasionally, I'll ask a question, share an observation (with your permission) or reflect something back to you. I do not keep notes of our conversations but I do keep a record of the time and date of our sessions, your name and email address. I do this because getting my certification requires me to evidence a certain number of practice hours. The International Coaching Federation furthermore requires this information for accreditation purposes. I have paid the ICO data protection fee and you can check that here. You can also have a look at my Privacy Policy and a sample coaching agreement. If that kind of document gives you hives, the gist of it is: Coaching is not therapy. You make your own decisions. You live and die by them. And I won’t sell your email address to some dodgy fellow pestering you about sextuple window glazing (is that like double glazing… but sexier?). 

 

Okay. Now what?

 

If you would like to know even more about me, head over to my blog, where I share some of my thoughts around people pleasing. I also write about the tools and techniques that have helped me set and maintain healthy boundaries. If any of this resonates with you and you’d like to explore how coaching might help you overcome your own people-pleasing tendencies, I invite you to schedule an intro call. We can see whether coaching is the right thing for you in your current situation and whether we would like to work together. No strings attached.